Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
