I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
