I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
