Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
