I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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