I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
