She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
