so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
