i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
