Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The power of my boobs compel you
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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