i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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