Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
