My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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