i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
