After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
