Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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