Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
