Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Life is so much better after having sex.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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