Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
