I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
