I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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