Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
