I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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