We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize