so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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