better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
