Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
