its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
