I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize
