idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
