trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
