just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I donβt have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
