that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
