I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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