Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
