i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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