Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
