Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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