Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
