Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
