Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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