Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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