Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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