is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
