I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
