K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
