he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
