Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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