Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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