She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We're too hungover to prance.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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