they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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