I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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