why didn't you poke me back
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
