No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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